why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Panties = found
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