using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
