There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
