she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
