I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
