I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
