You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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