some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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