put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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