There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize