So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
