well you can't waste a boner
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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