We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
