I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You're a waste of cheezeits
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
