Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
