Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
