do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
