i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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