Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize