is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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