Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
