Say something about gay babies.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
