No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
