Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
