I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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