No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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