Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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