In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
