you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
