I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
