Well douche your snatch and let's go!
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
