I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize