Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
