Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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