have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
