drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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