And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
