ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
