I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
