Ambien. No doubt about it.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
