I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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