i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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