So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
