Its about making memories worth repressing
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize