There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I feel like a drive thru vagina
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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