1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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