Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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