were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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