ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
