She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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