I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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