so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
