There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
whose ass print is on the piano?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize