you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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