Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
