In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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