Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
When are your genitals available?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
