She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
