hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize