I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
