Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I enjoy the company of your penis
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
