I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
