So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
