Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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