just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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