lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
