Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
