D3 body, D1 cock
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
