you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Come on in and take your pants off
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