coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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