Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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